Ch.5, Part 1: Growing Up Sucks

(Note: This is a long chapter under the cut.)

You know how they say 'with age comes wisdom', or...one of those supposedly philosophical quotes that everyone spews out one time or another? Most don't really know the true meaning of that phrase.

It's like they expect to coast through life knowing nothing, then when they hit the age that's considered 'old', suddenly they're these all-knowing beings.

Whenever I heard someone say that phrase, I just wanted to go over and clock them in the jaw.

I mean, look at me. I'm old enough to be the grandpa to a bunch of people in town, and I still can't remember what time the paperboy comes in the morning.

What they mean by that quote is, "as you age, you learn more from your mistakes", actually. I suppose. And there's no way to stay the same age forever as you learn.

It's not as simple as, say, waving a magic wand. You're going to age, like it or not. And it's not just you, it's everyone around you, as well.

Your children are going to grow up, and learn what they want to do in life. They'll become independent, they won't need you anymore.

Before you know it, your little baby birds are grown, spreading their wings, and leaving the nest.

Sometimes I wonder if Shark knew that when we adopted our kids. I'm sure he did, but he never said anything about it.

Some time after we adopted Kaidan, Shark found out that he had a baby brother also up for adoption, and since Shark was being Shark, he wanted to adopt that baby, too.

I knew better than to try to talk him out of it. If anything, he'd think it was cruel to keep them separated from each other much longer.

Shark let me name this one. I figured that maybe he needed a name that was a little different. I didn't want him named after a muse, or a song, or a game character.

According to the people at Social Services, we had to be careful. Kaidan's little brother had to spend time in the hospital. Not just for the normal time after he was born.

They said if we really wanted to adopt him, they wouldn't stop us. They were just cautioning us because of one main factor:

The baby was born premature.

In other words, the kid was probably going to have a lot of health problems when, or if, he grew up. And well, he did end up having asthma.

In fact, shortly before he moved out, I made sure he had his inhaler when he did leave. No son of mine was going to wind up stuck in the emergency room.

When we found out he'd been born early, Shark said that maybe the fact he's still alive meant he had an angel watching over him.

In the end, I ended up naming Angelo, because of this.

I was always so paranoid about the kid's health. If Angelo so much as sneezed, even if it was just caused by dust, I'd freak out. Believe it or not, it was Shark who told me to take it easy.

Kaidan, well, he was just happy to have a little brother, sickly or not.

When Kaidan was growing up, he was that weird mix of business and playtime. I honestly wasn't sure if I adopted a son, or if I adopted a businessman.

His two older sisters were typical, not wishing to do their homework right away. They waited until both their parents were home, then asked for help from us.

Kaidan didn't do that. He did it all on his own. I seriously hoped the other kids in school didn't pick on him because of this.

But Amaranth assured me that he would be fine. She wasn't afraid to rough up anyone who gave her little brother a hard time.

She made this promise again, when she was going through the teen years.

I was glad that my kids were growing up into fine young people, but at the same time, I was upset. It was like everything was going too fast for me. That sooner or later, our children were going to leave and start their own lives without us.

I remember being reminded of this the first time, when Echo was going to prom. Never really got the hype of the whole thing, and Shark didn't, either.

Last time I went to prom, well...let's just say it ended disastrously. And Shark...

Shark always said that so many people spent hundreds of dollars on hairdos, and fancy outfits they'll never wear again, and really bad smelling cologne, for something that'll have no impact whatsoever on their futures.

That, and you have to find a date. Echo said this wasn't a problem, though. She already found a date, the person she'd been seeing for a while.

Shark and I were delighted! I asked her, when's he coming over, is he a nice person, am I going to have to tell him to behave himself around her?

Echo corrected me after a while. Yes, her date was very well-behaved. Yes, she certainly was.

(She seriously went to prom in that.)

Turned out Echo was dating the Castor daughter. When she asked me if that was okay, I told her of course it was! Did my eldest child just 'conveniently' forget that she herself had two dads?

Why would I care if my kid was a lesbian? As long as she wasn't dating anyone abusive, it was fine. 

Her girlfriend Jeri was a nice girl. A bit on the quiet side, but she was a good kid. Of course, the last name "Castor" kind of bugged me.

At one point, her grandma Beverly started working at the diner with me and the others. She stated the life of a housewife was boring the hell out of her, and needed a change.

It was a rather strange conversation starter: "Hey, Mrs. Castor, did you know your grandkid's my daughter-in-law?" But she did her job.

But I digress. The point was, I knew Echo and Jeri definitely cared about each other. Shark and I liked her, too. She was always finding something good about everything.

In fact, one of the first things she said after hello and introducing herself was, "your cat is very pretty, Mr. Rotter," when she saw Yukiko napping on the couch. And she was fascinated by everything.

After prom, came the girls' birthdays. Echo invited Jeri over so they could celebrate together.

(Shark's being a spoilsport.)

I almost couldn't believe it. My first child. It seemed like only yesterday that she was a baby, with me playing peek-a-boo with her while Shark was at work.

The fact that my little girl was all grown up...it made me choke up. I tried putting on a happy face for her and the others, of course.

I'll admit, I was worried about the girls' relationship lasting. Most people who married their high school sweethearts, well...it usually doesn't last. For us, it was a wait-and-see thing. So far, they been married for a long time.

Yeah, I was emotional the whole time, but I managed to keep my feelings in check. No sense in bursting into tears when their cakes were cut.

Then came graduation day, which just made everything a hell of a lot more intense. How I got through the commencement ceremony, I'll never know.

I remember that day being so important to...just about everyone. When Echo came out of the building, she caught sight of Jeri's parents.

Then she asked them if it was okay to marry their daughter.

Shark admitted it was weird to see his two classmates all grown up with their own kid. And their kid was dating our kid. But I had to admit myself, Chase and Jeffrey had raised a great daughter.

They felt the same way towards Echo. When she asked, they gladly accepted her to become part of the family.

 Jeri asked us, and, well, it was obvious what our answer was.

They put the rings on right there, in front of City Hall.

While that was being done, Shark snuck off to the little festival across from the building. He told me he thought he saw someone familiar.

Turned out to be Uncle Dudley.

Shark told me he was shocked at seeing his uncle beginning to feel the effects of age. He knew Dudley was getting old, but not that old.

But he tried not to let him know that, and just asked how things were going. Dudley apparently sensed his worry, though, and said that the years weren't being too kind on him and 'the Mrs.'

Then he apparently pointed out to where Scout was.

Shark and I couldn't believe it. His Aunt and Uncle were already getting old.

We knew it obviously wasn't us aging, but it was the fact that seeing them becoming old, made us realize that they weren't going to be around forever.

Dudley said it was okay. They weren't that incredibly old yet, Shark still had time to visit them before it was their time to go.

But seeing them at that point made me remember someone else. So, after all was said and done, I went to go visit the next day.

Sure enough, he was getting up there in age, as well. In fact, he told me that he had already retired from the Music Industry.

DeAndre also said that since Lolly was always working, and Sheldon was still in school, he was lonely, and he appreciated me visiting.

It wasn't one of those fancy visits, I was simply spending time with him. He said the retired life wasn't that bad.

He said there were a lot of good things about it, but there was a rather bittersweet tone to it all: it just reminded him of how old he was getting.

DeAndre confided in me that it also gave him regrets: his biggest one was that he'd likely never live to see Sheldon grow up, get married, or have kids.

The whole thing reminded me how unfair it was that he was probably going to die soon, along with several other of our family and friends.

So I promised him: when he died, Shark and I would look after his wife and son. Hearing that got him to cheer up, and tell me, "you're a good man, Sinbad."

I wouldn't have called myself a good man, not then, and not now. My past was too sullied for me to even think about calling myself that. I was simply trying to turn my life around.

If anything, DeAndre was the one that was good. The fact that he was going to die soon...well, I knew he was a lot older than most of us, it just didn't seem right to me.

Scout, Dudley, and DeAndre were good people, and to know that their lives were starting to near their end, to know that Scout and Dudley would die without having any kids, and DeAndre probably wouldn't live to see his only son grow up...

It all felt so fucking unfair. People we cared about were getting old, our children were growing up...Our oldest child was already getting married, for crying out loud!

Well, first, she told me that she was moving to the other side of town, where old man Darer used to live, before he died.

She got a job as a sculptor, and if I remember correctly, Jeri got a job as a cop and brought her parents to live with them.

They were so happy together. It seriously hurt me to see her go, but I was happy to know that my little girl was in good hands.

Then, I asked Shark if he still wanted that last baby. I know it was horrible, to ask him this right after our eldest child moved out, but he always said he wanted five children.

I even clarified, I wasn't looking to replace Echo, I just wanted to know if he was still going through with all of it.

He just nodded to me. He was still all shook up over her leaving. But a few days later, after he calmed down enough, we called the Adoption people one more time.

We ended up naming our youngest daughter Cortana. Yeah, we might have named her after the blue chick from Halo, but we thought it was a pretty name.

...Yeah, Shark and I played a lot of video games.

After we adopted her, then came birthdays. So many birthdays.

(Go away, mailman! Nobody likes you!)

Kaidan had his birthday first. Our eldest son. The guy who knew just about everything. His siblings all got along with him, and everything. He never caused problems with me and Shark.

Well none of our kids caused a lot of trouble, but still.

I'd say the worst thing he did was complain about the size of his slice of cake when we were done hooting and hollering over it.

He was already growing into a handsome young man. Though...he almost looked as though he didn't want to grow up.

But he had to, like it or not.

After his birthday, it was Angelo's birthday a couple of days later later.

(Angelo's behind the table. Told you I'm bad at taking pictures!)

It almost seemed like the time went too fast with him. Or maybe it felt that way to me.

We did have to be careful, since it had been a little cold outside. I didn't want my youngest son to catch the flu or anything, on what should've been a happy day. But thankfully, Shark had him bundled up enough for that not to be a problem. Then we all gorged ourselves on cake.

And the last birthday we had for a while came a week later. Which honestly surprised me.

When Shark set up the table outside, and set the cake up, I thought he was just doing it out of a force of habit.

I told him, Cortana and Amaranth's birthdays aren't for a while. What was with everything?

At that, he just gave me this weird smile and looked me right in the eyes, like he was trying to apologize to me for something.

Then it dawned on me. This cake wasn't for either of our daughters.

It was for me.

I know I wasn't going to change much. I mean, I knew I was going to get some face lines and wrinkles, but other than that, not much was going to change.

But still, it just made me realize that I was that much closer to getting old. Yeah, Shark and the kids were happy and all, and so was I, but there was always that lingering feeling.

I knew better than to gripe about it, though. Shark went through all this trouble to get me, his own husband, a nice little cake. He even took the day off work and everything, just so he could spend time with me.

There was no way in Hell I was going to hurt his feelings by bitching and moaning. And the kids, well they were just happy to get to see their dad's birthday.

That, or they were glad that it got them out of school. It could've gone either way.

But whether or not the kids stayed home or went to school, it honestly didn't matter. After I blew out those candles, I looked at all of them.

My kids were growing up, and Shark and I were getting older as well. It was almost unfathomable. My eldest was all grown up, and my second eldest was already about to do the same.

I wasn't ready. Everything was going so fast, I just wanted to break down and cry. Crying because there was nothing I could do to stop time.

I remember those years as being full of...emotion. When the kids were at school, Cortana was sleeping, and Shark was visiting his parents, I'd just stay up in the second floor, where most of our stuff was.

And when I made sure no one could hear me:

I'm sure I freaked out the neighbors, and maybe even woke Cortana up. But I didn't have anything else to do.

I had to vent my frustrations out somehow, and, well...I don't think Shark would've appreciated a hole in the wall.

Then when I calmed down, I usually tried to busy myself with something else. I told myself, 'it wasn't so bad. So everyone's getting older. It's a part of life.'

It's not an enjoyable one, but it's still going to happen.

Then came another part of life that was...probably one of the most hard-hitting realities of life one could think of.

(A/N: End of Chapter 5, Part 1.)