Ch. 6, Part 1: Outlook not so Goode

You know those cultures that put a ton of importance on the firstborn son, claiming they're destined for great things, carry on the family name, and all that?

Well...I suppose I thought of that for Kaidan. The great things concept, that is.

I thought of it for all my kids, and when his two older sisters left, he was technically the eldest child in the house.

But we didn't need to worry about him. Whenever Shark and I were at work, he gladly watched his younger brother and sister.

We didn't need a babysitter. Kaidan was perfectly capable of keeping an eye on them.

(Why didn't I take more pictures of Toddler Cortana?)

I had a feeling he'd become a "family man". He just had that way about him, I guess.

At some point, he started taking on most of the household chores and responsibilities. He was even the one who got Angelo's birthday cake set up for his birthday.

It was a load off our minds, that was for sure.

In fact, Kaidan was spending so much time with his siblings at home, Shark and I were worried that he'd never go out and find a significant other of his own.

Of course, he proved us wrong. As a matter of fact, he did have a girlfriend. He just never brought her over to meet us.

I thought maybe he just didn't want a situation like Amaranth did. But it was weird. He never brought her home, but he was perfectly willing to spend time at her place.

It almost seemed as though he was hiding something from us.

(Note the location.)

It wasn't because she was ugly or anything. In fact, when she finally came for a visit, she looked beautiful, if not a little familiar.

Apparently, Shark had the same idea I did. He asked Kaidan's girlfriend Lynnette all these questions about her relatives. Who were they, what did they do for a living, what was her home life like?

Oddly enough, Lynnette was willing to tell us everything, unlike Kaidan. She told us that for a while, she lived with her grandparents, and a few years after that, she lived with her father and his wife.

"His wife", not "her mother." When Shark asked her why she was referring to her like that, Lynnette told us her real mother died a long time ago. So long ago, that she didn't even remember what she looked like.

The whole time, I was putting the pieces together. I now knew exactly who her relatives were. When Shark brought her home, he confirmed it.

Hard to believe it, but our own son was dating Goodwin's kid.

Now I knew why she looked so familiar. It was as though I was looking right at a younger version of Jenni. The similarities were unmistakable.

I never did completely figure out how Goodwin felt, seeing his daughter, his only child, dating my son.

Was he upset that she was growing up so fast, without her birth mother to see her?

What I do know is that when Shark visited him and Amy, the next time he went to go pick Lynnette up, he told me that Amy...didn't look like herself.

He told me she looked as though she aged faster than she should've, like she'd gone gray way too soon.

I'm guessing it was from stress, or guilt from raising her late best friend's child. She and Goodwin never had any children of her own, since Lynnette never mentioned having any siblings. That might have been out of guilt, as well.

And apparently, Amy told him how she felt. She told him it didn't matter how her step-daughter felt about her, she could never replace Jenni as her mother. Yes, she was the one that married Goodwin, but it didn't really change how she felt.

She still felt how a parent would feel, seeing their child grow up. Amy did say, though, that she and Goodwin could trust Kaidan.

If Lynnette truly loved him, and vice versa, then that was all right with them.

And as for Goodwin and me, well, I really don't need to elaborate too much there, what with our...complicated history.

And apparently, her grandparents had their own feelings on the matter, sort of. I remember meeting up with her Grandpa Lenny in the park one time.

I've never formally met the dude, so it was a little awkward for me to just go up and say hi. 

He started telling me how life was going for him. He told me he was doing the best he could, given he had just buried his recently deceased wife.

Wife. I asked him to elaborate, and he told me that many years ago, he and Renee remarried for a couple of reasons.

Neither of them wanted to be alone in the world after Jenni died, so they set aside their differences, and got back together to raise their granddaughter.

He thought that maybe he and Renee always loved each other, it was their own personal issues that drove them apart. He just wished it hadn't taken their only child's suicide to realize it.

 After their granddaughter left to live with her father, Lenny expressed his wishes that he hoped he and Renee did a good enough job. He wanted Jenni to see her daughter grow up the best she could.

When he said those words, something in me...broke. Before I knew it, I was grabbing a hold of him and crying my eyes out on his shirt, saying I was sorry over and over.

Even after all that time, I still felt it was my fault she was dead. Lenny seemed confused, understandably. For all he knew, I was just going overboard with the condolences.

To make it worse, Lenny died alone, a few days after I talked to him. He didn't have his wife, or his daughter by his side. His only relative still alive at that point didn't live with him anymore.

The knowledge that it likely all started because of me just made it worse. When he was gone, I at least took closure that the three of them were reunited now.

I can only wonder how Lynnette was taking it all. However she was dealing with it, Kaidan told Shark and I that after they graduated, he would give her something new to smile about.

It didn't take a genius to know what he had in mind.

(A/N: End of Chapter 6, Part 1.)